Start Dating problems of acoa

Dating problems of acoa

This post describes what it’s like to grow up in an alcoholic family.

Over the years, in relationships, I felt constantly let down, disappointed and was treated like crap by people who were supposed to be my “friends”.

I didn’t believe I could trust anyone so I figured it was safer to just be alone. Many of us are hard wired to welcome the most emotionally unavailable, destructive people into our lives – only to get burned.

Not too long ago this number would’ve really bothered me.

Like many ACOAs I’ve had my fair share of trust issues.

If you’ve been there or are there right now, don’t worry, you’re not alone.

Today, I thought I’d share with you what I’ve learned about being an ACOA and having trouble in relationships. So, just as I had to pull up my socks and get on with my move back to the US, it’s time for you to pull up yours and take today’s post with an open mind.

What new idea or insight could you share with the rest of the community?

Remember, your voice, experiences and insights are vital to this community. This could also be a way that you, perhaps unconsciously, keep people out of your life to avoid having to risk letting someone in.

It’s probably not too difficult to see why being an ACOA can make romantic relationships as an adult challenging.

You may not have made the connection between your partner’s family history and what shows up in your relationship, but the impact is huge.

Researchers have found that adult children of alcoholics sometimes struggle in relationships because of lack of trust, loneliness, emotional denial, feelings of guilt, shame and rage, sadness, being unsure of their identity, needing control, having issues asserting themselves, being desperate to please others, and overreacting to criticism.